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Establishing Rapport with your Date

April 4, 2016

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SingleHindus.com Blog - Establishing Rapport

The First Date Tips are just a few practical tips to help you prepare for your meeting. However, fortunately Single Hindus has a professional and experienced team including certified NLP (neuro linguistic programming) practitioners who can give you some helpful tips to maximise your chances of success not only on your first date but also for future meetings.

We won’t bore you with the “science part” of NLP, suffice to say that NLP can vastly improve your communication skills. The following tips derived from NLP will help you in establishing rapport with your date. Please be aware however, that you should always be yourself – there is no point in pretending to be something that you are not just in order to impress your date. Your future success is dependant on you being honest and open. What follows therefore are just some tips to maximise your chances of building rapport with your date:

1. Mirroring
This involves literally mirroring what your date is doing. How do you mirror someone? Well, the answer is to carefully observe your date’s body language. So for example if they raise their right hand, you mirror it by raising your left hand. If they lean towards the left, you lean towards the right. It’s that simple! Whatever you do though, make sure it is subtle otherwise you will come across unnatural and awkward and you don’t want them to think that you are copying them! The movements should be a lot smaller than your date’s and you can choose just a few to mirror during the course of your date. Practice with a friend beforehand so that it comes to you more naturally.

2. Matching
This is similar to mirroring but instead the process of matching involves matching the movements of the other person. Therefore, if they raise their right hand, you also raise your right hand. If they lean in to the right, your also lean in to the right. Please again be subtle and be yourself. Remember to practice beforehand.

3. Cross over Matching
This is the process of cross over matching the movements of the other person. So for example, match the rhythm of the other person’s breathing by gently swaying your body to the same rhythm. If they fold their arms, you can cross your legs. Again the same rules apply – be subtle, be yourself and practice beforehand.

In order to be able to conduct the above three processes successfully to build rapport you will need to look out for the following:

Physiology – By this we mean look at the gestures, blinking, breathing patterns and posture of the other person.

Tonality – By this we mean the tone, speed, volume and voice quality of the other person

Words – Listen out for key words, show an interest in what the other person is saying, share common experiences, thoughts and beliefs.

The better you get at understanding the physiology, tonality and words used by the other person, the more you will be able to establish rapport.

If nothing else, you will at least have had a fun time trying! Good luck!